It is an awful feeling inside of me, knowing yet again I spend Christmas estranged from my family. So often I have prayed that God would me help find an answer to problem that has wedged itself between me and my beloved family.
How can I convince another person that I am not the enemy? What words should I use. A portion of my holiday cheer is flat. I continue to hold out hope, that the family person that started all of this could see how much better we are as an united front.
This is not how family is suppose to be. After all when the person that has been my best friend my whole life turns on me taking others' with her what am I to d? For what? Material things that did not belong to her in the first place. How much more can a person have than what they need to survive on?
I am sorry for the split that has occurred, but having said that, I will not be bullied even by a beloved family member especially when words are so cruelly twisted.
Separation, how is this working for any of us? There are six children in my family, there should be no sides to chose.
We are family, brothers and sister each one of us. Separation, how is this working for any of us, not at all.
All there is left to say, I pray for all of my siblings, that they have a blessed life, holiday and that life treats them far better than they are treating me.
Separation, I don't recommend it to anyone, especially family.
We are all of the same blood, we are family. God bless you all.
Happy hugs,
CJ
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Silent Enemy
I don't know how many times in my life people have reign over me whether it was physically, mentally or especially emotionally. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not an easy push over when it comes to managing my life on most occasions. However, I will do my best to find the path of lest resistance if at all possible.
I grew up in a home where my parents as loving and caring for us as they were, seemed to enjoy the weekly volatile arguments that occurred on Sundays after church. Humm... I think how is it that my father appeared to be such a strong man, yet each week that passed by he always allowed my mom's opinion and position to reign over his.
From earliest of childhood I feared my mother perhaps as much as I loved, but then again, maybe not.
Maybe it was that kind of fear that had become her weapon of control. For as long as I can remember it was that silent enemy, the one that no one else could see that was the driving force in our family's dynamics.
It would be the guiding force that eventually gave me purpose more than anything else to leave home.
Often times we all act like one person while we are actually someone else. It is how we move through life undetected, never revealing our true selves.
Bullying can come in so many forms. It can come in the beginning of childhood forever molding the future path of an individual. It may show up during the teen years as the fire begins to burn brighter and brighter as it finds a way to become a central part of your life, forever. Creeping along as we grow older each day the scars that form from that silent enemy will last a lifetime.
Be aware, be very aware that you're not that silent enemy. Pray that if you are that you can see the damage that it can do and seek help.
If you are not the silent enemy, don't fall prey to it's form. It will consume every ounce of your being until nothing of the real you remains, and that is the worse enemy of it.
Go in peace. Act in peace and let the silent enemy go before it ruins you forever.
I grew up in a home where my parents as loving and caring for us as they were, seemed to enjoy the weekly volatile arguments that occurred on Sundays after church. Humm... I think how is it that my father appeared to be such a strong man, yet each week that passed by he always allowed my mom's opinion and position to reign over his.
From earliest of childhood I feared my mother perhaps as much as I loved, but then again, maybe not.
Maybe it was that kind of fear that had become her weapon of control. For as long as I can remember it was that silent enemy, the one that no one else could see that was the driving force in our family's dynamics.
It would be the guiding force that eventually gave me purpose more than anything else to leave home.
Often times we all act like one person while we are actually someone else. It is how we move through life undetected, never revealing our true selves.
Bullying can come in so many forms. It can come in the beginning of childhood forever molding the future path of an individual. It may show up during the teen years as the fire begins to burn brighter and brighter as it finds a way to become a central part of your life, forever. Creeping along as we grow older each day the scars that form from that silent enemy will last a lifetime.
Be aware, be very aware that you're not that silent enemy. Pray that if you are that you can see the damage that it can do and seek help.
If you are not the silent enemy, don't fall prey to it's form. It will consume every ounce of your being until nothing of the real you remains, and that is the worse enemy of it.
Go in peace. Act in peace and let the silent enemy go before it ruins you forever.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Resist
Resist calling other's names except the name they were given at birth.
Resist becoming part of the crowd that watches injustice towards others.
Resist being a hater of any race.
Resist hitting any person, for any reason.
Resist being in the gang.
Resist disrespecting yourself and others.
Resist being like everyone else, forgetting yourself.
Resist self hate, like yourself always.
Resist not forgiving.
Resist not sharing your love more than you anger.
When we as people, individuals can understand that resisting those things that are negative in every way, then perhaps we can resist becoming extinct.
Resist becoming part of the crowd that watches injustice towards others.
Resist being a hater of any race.
Resist hitting any person, for any reason.
Resist being in the gang.
Resist disrespecting yourself and others.
Resist being like everyone else, forgetting yourself.
Resist self hate, like yourself always.
Resist not forgiving.
Resist not sharing your love more than you anger.
When we as people, individuals can understand that resisting those things that are negative in every way, then perhaps we can resist becoming extinct.
Push
Push me, I push back.
Call me names, I call you one back.
Hit me, I hit back.
Beat me, I beat you back.
Love me, I'll love you back.
Of all of these, love is the greatest I have to give.
Don't bully your way through life, love your way, it'll pay you back a hundred times over.
Call me names, I call you one back.
Hit me, I hit back.
Beat me, I beat you back.
Love me, I'll love you back.
Of all of these, love is the greatest I have to give.
Don't bully your way through life, love your way, it'll pay you back a hundred times over.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Hit me once shame on you...
As a child I never understood the concept, "this is going to hurt me more than it is you." when it came to being discipline. Parents tend to correct their children in the same manners as they were corrected so most of the time 99% of parents are too lazy, stupid or just plain out ignorant when it comes to change. Sound a little to harsh? Maybe, but then again let's take a hard look at where we really are with the correction factor of our children's behavior. From where I sit in 2013 understanding how to discipline your child should be rather easy, but of course I'm wrong.
When a parent harms a child not only physically, but emotionally as well as mentally, the scars left behind probably will never heal. What we learn as children we often times carries over into our adulthood. That's a shame for the majority of us in our society.
We have rules for every possible situation that you can think of including having to have tags and registration for our pets, The state law requires a license to drive any vehicle, sale alcohol, own and operate a beauty parlor, as well as having to have permits and licenses for every business that we can image. We have to have social security numbers when we have a child and even give up personal information to own anything.
How is it then that we fail at a larger rate, or so it seems to protect our children from un-natural parenting. Do we offer classes for good parenting, teach our young society not to hit, abuse and forsake our children. Are we really nurturing our innocent off spring. If the answer is no, then what are we doing?
I believe in the golden rule, Do unto others as you would have me do unto you? So why can't we get this right. Hit me once, shame on you, hit me twice, shame on me? What if you are a new born? How about a child in preschool, kindergarten, middle school, okay high school? When is it okay to hit a child of any age and what are we passing on to those children about violence?
It is a harsh reality that nothing seems to change in our world. We want peace, but can't find it. We want people to be kind, but don't act that way, we ask for humanity, but do not extend our fairness to anyone.
So the question remains the same,as adults are we the example by which our children we grow into strong, good and kind people?
Perhaps we should take a closer look at ourselves and then scream at the top of our lungs, " Hit me once, shame, shame, shame on you."
What kind of example are you setting? Who are we fooling?
When a parent harms a child not only physically, but emotionally as well as mentally, the scars left behind probably will never heal. What we learn as children we often times carries over into our adulthood. That's a shame for the majority of us in our society.
We have rules for every possible situation that you can think of including having to have tags and registration for our pets, The state law requires a license to drive any vehicle, sale alcohol, own and operate a beauty parlor, as well as having to have permits and licenses for every business that we can image. We have to have social security numbers when we have a child and even give up personal information to own anything.
How is it then that we fail at a larger rate, or so it seems to protect our children from un-natural parenting. Do we offer classes for good parenting, teach our young society not to hit, abuse and forsake our children. Are we really nurturing our innocent off spring. If the answer is no, then what are we doing?
I believe in the golden rule, Do unto others as you would have me do unto you? So why can't we get this right. Hit me once, shame on you, hit me twice, shame on me? What if you are a new born? How about a child in preschool, kindergarten, middle school, okay high school? When is it okay to hit a child of any age and what are we passing on to those children about violence?
It is a harsh reality that nothing seems to change in our world. We want peace, but can't find it. We want people to be kind, but don't act that way, we ask for humanity, but do not extend our fairness to anyone.
So the question remains the same,as adults are we the example by which our children we grow into strong, good and kind people?
Perhaps we should take a closer look at ourselves and then scream at the top of our lungs, " Hit me once, shame, shame, shame on you."
What kind of example are you setting? Who are we fooling?
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