Did you ever stop and think about how many ways there are to bully? Aggressive behavior is so easy to disguise as something else. Over the years I have seen so many people which include friends and family go about handling various situations in different modes of aggression.
Bullying another human being is very easy. It doesn't take screaming, pushing or profanity. Often times all it takes is a little passive aggression to make another person uncomfortable.
I know, I have a friend that I have known for the better part of 30 years years now. For the most part I always thought of us as "good" friends, on the same page. We always seemed to respect each other and could talk about everything. Lately I have come to the conclusion that within that friendship is a hidden bully. She wants people to believe that she has been done wrong by everyone she has known all of her life, or that life just isn't fair when it it comes to her and her alone.
Somehow that quiet calm personality that she so easily displays has many faces attached to it. I believe that when there is an existing problem between people, especially adults talking it out face to face is the best policy.
How can anything be resolved when you talk about a problem to everyone, but the person that you have a problem with?
Nothing can be resolved unless a reasonable solution is sought and to passively tippy toe around the problem resolves nothing.
The problem that reared it's ugly head only happen because of my friends' jealousy. She has so many failed relationship due to her own actions or lack there of. Refusing to come to me and talk this situation out, stomping around my house, acting as though I didn't exist all the while talking to my dog, my husband, my son and his wife and my grand daughters while they were visiting seem to be her way of getting around the problem and proving her point to me
How childish. Her only daughter even called me wanting to know if I would go to her and resolve the matter because she didn't want to hear about it anymore.
What was the problem? Here was a friend who had no place to live except in my home and yet she couldn't or wouldn't come to me and talk about whatever problem she thought was between us.
Her behavior was nothing more than passive aggression, a form or bullying. I was willing to talk to her about anything she felt a need to discuss, but she had created this anger. It was her place to come to me. If she thought that there was a reason for her to be mad, okay, but I'm your friends(supposedly) so come and talk to me.
Lying about what you think has happen or what you think someone has said about you is just childish to me.
I have dealt with this same kind of behavior over and over and over. I'm a 58 year old woman, not a five year old child, do not treat me like one.
Passive Bullying happens more often than most of us even think about. Someone may not raise hell, scream, shout or cuss at you, but still there behavior is bullying.
I do not and will not tolerate bullying of any kind. If you have something you need to say, then say it. Resolution is only found when it is sought out with respect.
We all need to respect one another, it's the only way our lives can be lived in peaceful accord.
Be kind always, it counts!
CJ
